Trampolines

A warning for people who don’t want to read about feminine hygiene products, specifically, the one that beings with “t” and ends with “-ampon.” I think I would rather refer to them as "trampolines" in this post.

Really, now is the time to stop reading if it’s going to gross you out.

About a month ago, Sushee and I were bitching to each other about the high cost of feminine hygiene products. We had both gotten reamed on our most recent purchase at the drug store. I try not to think about the price when I buy them – they are a necessity and I buy the name brand that works for me in bulk so that I won’t have to buy them again for as long as possible.

This morning, in my sleepy stupor, I’m unwrapping a trampoline and notice that it has a “new and improved” design. It is rifled. My trampolines are rifled.

Everything I learned about rifling, I learned from some boys in my senior year EMAE355 Design of Fluid and Thermal Elements class. They taught me that rifling our potato gun barrel would induce spin in the potato projectile, which allows for a more stable flight pattern, and increases the distance the potato will fly (which is what we were graded on). (At least that’s how I understand it.) But I had never heard of rifling the potato.

I was trying to think why trampoline engineers thought rifling was necessary. In my bewilderment, I examined the box that held my new-and-improved-ly designed products. The marketing folks for my name brand of trampolines call them “fluid lock channels.” I wish I could have been on their marketing team.